Stupid Questions People Ask

After that heavy post i feel its time to lighten up a bit so here are some interesting and funny answers to questions that v generally come across. :)

1. At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally
also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames.